Parenting Experts

Last night I attended a PTSA meeting of my son David's middle school. We discussed a miriad of topics, dreams, and plans for the school community. After brainstorming about ways to involve more parents in the school something stood out very clearly. Several parents stated a desire to be resourced in their parenting, hoping for answers to topics like, "How to communicate with thier 13 year old daughter"; "Navigating the Teen-Age years"; and "Transitioning well from middle school to high school." The thing I noticed was that most of the parents seemed to be clueless and really hoped for an "expert" to resource them. The funny thing for me was that I invited my son David to go with me to the meeting. True he was the only child present in a room full of faculty, parents, and administrators. But, I thought it was valuable for him to be there. When the topics of experts came up, I told the room we had an expert with us. Then I motioned toward David. Silence in the room.

After the meeting I asked David if it was a waste of his time. He said it wasn't. It helps him understand the decisions that play out every day in the halls of the school. I told David the reason I invited him and the reason I volunteer at his school is because I love him. My service in the school will translate into a better school for all. Well that's the hope anyway. I don't think we need experts to improve our relationships with teenagers. I think we need honesty. Recently David and I had an intense confrontation. In the course of our talk I made sure he knew that I don't have it all figured out. But that my intent is to pursue his well being. It ended well, more with a commitment to go together. Maybe I'll write about that next time.