A cosmic mirror

This past week I feel like a cosmic mirror was held before me. I got a glimpse into my soul, seeing what's there and what isn't there. I drove down to So. Cal. with Linda and Brad to my point of origin on our silent planet (Long Beach) for a "simple church" gathering hosted by Church Multiplication Associates http://www.cmaresources.org/ The quality of people present was humbling. The feel of the meetings was inspiring. It had been quite a while since I had joined with other Christians for conferences like this. I've felt the need to stay away for the past couple of years. Call it a sort of a self-imposed exile. The reason is that I am too often distracted and influenced toward things other than my primary pursuit... living in God's great story as a follower of Jesus. Money distracts me. Insecurity sidelines me. Religious things take me eyes off the mark. There are so many other things that I unknowingly give my allegience to, even good things. I find that even the ordinary things of life lead me away from destiny.

So about the mirror. As I was with my friends and part of many conversations the mirror showed religion. The mirror revealed insecurity. The mirror reflected calculation. In my desire to impress others I found myself wanting to say things that measured up on some kind of profound words scale. Now, I ask myself, "Who are you trying to impress and why?" I feel silly even talking about it. But, I think it reveals my insecurity. It's something I continually deal with, and may always. The truth is that I don't have to impress anyone. My audience is not fellow journeyers, but the Audience of One. What really counts is who I am before God. When stripped down to the essence of my identity, what remains? Not money. Not reputation? Not who I know? Not even my work? I can't do anything to earn favor with Creator. God knows too much about me to be impressed by my grande facades.

Who I am is what matters. I don't pretend to answer with conclusion. But, deep in my being I know when I'm trying to be something I'm not. Way down inside I'm aware of my efforts that head in directions away from ultimate goodness. And that's the stuff of earth I hope to leave behind. Like the Apostle Paul so long ago I hope to live nothing in the world but Jesus. I long to live in His unselfish ways and to work on behalf of my fellow earthlings. It's my contribution to goodness on earth. And as each of us live goodness that is just a little bit of heaven on earth.

I'm encouraged that what we do matters, as does what we say and think! It all matters in the cosmic scheme of things. How we live makes a difference even when no one is watching but the Audience of One.