Being good at being yourself

A young lady I know found herself in an uncomfortable situation. Someone asked her how much she was paid for her job. She didn't feel free to share this private information. She felt it was between her and her employer. But she also didn't feel the freedom to say so. She thought the person would think of her as rude. So, she tried to change the subject severl times throughout the day. The persistant wage fact finder kept at it. But my friend kept changing the subject.

Her fear of saying "no" or "I don't feel comfortable talking about that with you" led her to avoid the person, dodge the topic, and just plain ignore. She was proud that she managed to avoid answering for the better part of a day. In her retelling of the story to me I sensed there was something that bothered her about the encounter. So I probed. As we talked about it after the fact it turned into a powerful conversation about life. A truth surfaced about why she was reluctant. She actually acted this why at home and with friends. She avoids talking about things she's uncomfortable with. She wants to deal with things, but doesn't feel released to.

In reality, she had every right to say "NO." She had no obligation to answer the question. But she didn't see that reality. By the end of the talk, she walked away with a desire to be more honest even when it's hard. Isn't life that way? Being honest is often hard. But it's right. I feel tested with honesty things every day.

I wrote about this because I think we're all born to come alongside others to help them be better at life and just being themselves.