My Crisis

This week I asked myself, "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" I went further saying, "Why do I live in San Francisco?" It was apparent that something in my heart had changed. There was a day when I could clearly answer both questions. But not now. It created a crisis within. My crisis affected those I hold dearest - my family, partners, and community. In that sense my crisis became theirs.

There are times in life when we loose the fire, but we can't stay there. It must be resolved. Care for the soul is required. We have to investigate our hearts and motives. Dreams must be revisited and decisions made. The last few days have been such a time for me.

This morning I awoke and read from Oswald Chambers. His words described my "crisis" to a tee! Check this out: "The life with God may be right and the inner purity remain unsullied, and yet every now and again the bloom on the outside may be sullied. God does not shield us from this possibility, because in this way we realize the necessity of maintaining the vision by personal purity. If the spiritual bloom of our life with God is getting impaired in the tiniest degree, we must leave off everything and get it put right."

At the root of my crisis was the need to rediscover afresh who I am. I had to remember my calling. And I had to know that I am not alone. God's people have been set apart. Years ago, I made a vow as a called out one to the Gospel of Jesus of Nazareth! But you can't live off yesterday's fire. I make the choice for today!